Welcome to the machine

The sound after I was slid into the machine was similar to the bass notes from a Pink Floyd song. I have to admit I was only a little nervous. I often get claustrophobic but in extreme situations I do adapt. For instance, here I was going into an MRI machine, which would draw a picture of my muscles which would enable the doctor to see if my anterior cruciate ligament is indeed torn. I was to stay immobile for the entire duration of the scan which would take a good 20 - 30 minutes. They gave me large null headphones to reduce the loud sounds the machine makes. But I could still hear them, they said 'welcome to the machine'. And in spite of all the sound, I was calm, relaxed. I slept and the lab attendant woke me up.

The report arrives quick, in about 15 minutes and I go back to the doctor who recommended the scan. The doctor then shows me a model of the knee, complete with parts of femur, tibia, the knee cap and shows me the anterior cruciate ligament which prevents extreme bending of the leg in the wrong direction and also provides shock absorbing during extreme movements of the leg.

Three months earlier I was playing touch rugby in the National Centre for Biological Sciences (NCBS) lawn. This form of rugby is similar to the contact rugby game except in this form, one had to just touch the other person and he or she has to halt and restart their advance towards the goal. I had discovered an interesting move, I would run really fast and then suddenly stop which would make the opponent or opponents slip and slide down and then I could quickly change direction and then advance to score a goal which is called a 'try' in touch rugby. It worked well for me once; I ran at a very good speed slowed down to zero speed very quick and then went around the player to 'try'. The second time I tried it, I ran even faster and I think stopped even quicker at which I heard a pop in the knee and I collapsed. It was very painful but ten minutes later I was normal and I thought I would continue the game but within a minute the knee felt unstable.

The doctor looked at the report and told me the anterior cruciate ligament was torn and had to be reconstructed. It was my first ever injury in my life. I had played football for the last eight years in NCBS and I used to play quite rough but never sustained an injury. Now after just few times of playing rugby here I was with a torn ligament. I asked the doctor what it would entail. He told me that the surgery was bloodless one, they make three incisions around the knee, two for the instruments to go in and a third for a minute camera to monitor the operation. A portion of the patellar ligament about 1 cm wide and few cm long will be harvested and will be screwed on to the bones using bio screws that dissolve in the body within 90 days and the new ligament grows on to the bone during this period. After the operation that last for a little over two hours, the next day physiotherapy starts and continues for about two to three months till the knee becomes flexible and the muscles get back to normal strength. I got admitted the next day and the surgery was due the following day.

I felt a sort of numbness when I was being carried away to the Operation Theatre. I had not idea of what to expect; pain, fear or a mixture of both. Soon as I reached the OT, the anesthetist gave me a good dosage right to the spine with quite a long needle. I thought it would pain but it was merely a pinprick. I felt a sense of high, ten minutes later both my legs were swollen and there was no sensation below my belly button. Neither could I move any part of my legs. It actually felt good!

The operation began and I was quite relaxed. There was a screen between me and the doctors therefore I could not see the entire proceedings. But I could hear them talk and also saw and heard the drill that was to make two holes in my bones. Once the camera reached the portion that had to be operated, I was shown the torn ligament which looked like the flesh that hangs from a chicken bone just eaten. The operation was done within two hours of it starting and I felt a sense of relief.

Train of thoughts

Its raining outside the train. The drops hit the train and stick and when more drops hit the ones that arrived earlier, they stream down the window, the bottom of the train and then flow to the soil. The window is a simple frame with moving drops, like a live wallpaper. The trees pass by like people passing by who I don't know. There is a river below the bridge the train is riding on right now, with the November rain the lake looks happy and inundated. When the train slows down, I see an egret who seems like enjoying the rain too, the drops splashing on the bird while it pinpricks the water for fish within a fraction of a second.

A kid runs up out of nowhere in a seat ahead of me and indicates to her mother that she wants to use the rest room. It is a bit of a struggle for the mother to get to the passage of the train, for she is in the window seat with two seats between her and the passage. She doesn't mind though, even if she was dozing off to a nice afternoon sleep when her child woke her.

The train has now picked up speed, the rain has disappeared as quickly as it had arrived here. Now the moving images on the windows need more focusing to know what is passing. An occasional coconut tree, grey clouds raining elsewhere, just now there was a mango tree, two birds whom I cannot identify based on their back lit silhouettes, and somewhere in a gap a blue sky with white clouds too, a whole city passes in between too!